“Chronicles of Death and Myself” Fiction. Based on True Commitments.

“The first big heartbreak that’s the one that sets you off on your path and takes you into who you are going to become”—Tigercide

“Chronicles of Death and Myself”

Fiction. Based on True Commitments.

by Ruby

This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.

I once had a lover that kissed the back of my neck

Every morning, very lightly

It was their way of telling me to get up

Put makeup on,

They didn’t like to see me without

Each night, they would turn their back to me

Never knowing what I truly looked like

Only loving my painted face


I once had a lover that lit their cigarettes with matches

The flicker of the flame always entranced me

They would light the cigarette and grab my hand

Blow out the match, and press the embers to my skin

Every day, on the top of my left hand

There is a scar from when they missed the usual spot


I once had a lover that called me every night, without fail

We could even fight and they would call back

To remind me, regardless that there was love there

They continued to call when they found a new love

And I got to listen to their throws of passion deep into the darkness


I once had a lover that camped on a trampoline with me

We laid under the stars and woke to rain

I also woke to hands in my shirt

Even when I pushed them away

I was taken on that trampoline

My tears washed away in morning dew


I once had a lover that sang to me, accompanied by their guitar

Sweetest melodies, hot showers, more truth than I cared to admit

Most beautiful of all my lovers

Said everything I ever needed to hear and more,

Which was all it took for me to give in

Once again, relinquishing my body,

No longer belonging to myself

Only to say goodbye once they came.


I once had a lover who was my person

She brightened my days

And understood the fabric of my being

Her breath filled my soul with warmth,

Curing me of a long held onto chill

    One day she just left.

Within a vast darkness,

Death became a chronic lover

Did whatever I could to seduce Death

Played with my life and danced with demons,

Begged for Death’s eternal embrace

But, of all my lovers, Death is by far the most disappointing

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