“Trying to Understand”–Drue Metz
“Responses from Annabell”
Fiction. Based on a True Divine Conversation.
by Suzanna T.
This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.
Let me begin by saying that I am just fine without a husband; thank you very much. I have been just fine ever since you dumped me here “in hiding” as you so splendidly put it. And let us be honest, if a husband was of any concern to you, then you would have made the one man an honest one. But…you did not.
Oh, forgive me. I sound like a spoiled brat. I was glad to hear from you. I was beginning to think that I had displeased you in some way. I try so hard to do what you would have me to.
You will be glad to know that I did not stray in your absence. I stayed on the path this time. Yes, Father, I have learned. There is a satisfaction that comes in following your word that I cannot find anywhere else.
As for the battle, if it is anything like what is down here then I can only imagine how bloody it is…and senseless. There is so much hate here Father. So much violence. If the human race ever cared for one another then that time is long gone. Is there any way that we can get it back? Or are we doomed to endure this senselessness until my brother’s return? What good do you expect your children to do in a world so full of sin?
Speaking of expectations, I did the very best I could at my post. But many were lost to us. One I lost to guilt, one I lost to envy, the other I lost to racism. I slew many of the demons that resided in the leader of the legion, but another has sprung in its place. This new demon threatens to destroy the entire family. I fear for his wife though I have never met her. Did you not vow to spare Sodom and Gomorrah for the sake of ten good men? What about one? And a woman? Will you spare the city for the sake of one good woman? Oh my Lord please do, for pity’s sake.
Sometimes, I think I am too weak to maintain the blessings that you give to me. Sometimes, I feel too weak to fight for the cause inherited. Are you sure that someone else is not better suited for the job?
What makes me doubt myself that way, Father? Is it this accursed shyness? Is it laziness? My need for solace, my desire to never step outside of my comfort zone? If it is any of those things then I beg you to cast it out. My greatest fear is not being able to live up to the potential you put inside of me. Help me Father. Let my soul no longer be a home to incompetence.
Speaking of home, why give me one that I cannot live in? What lesson is in it? You know how I have dreamed of a home of my own. You promised me one. When did you become the God of Broken Promises?
Forgive me. I know that everything you do is according to plan. But it gets frustrating when you never know what to expect. I do not mean to complain, but I am tired, Father. So tired.
As for my Mother Earth, could you warm her with your loving touch? It is dreadfully cold. Tell her that I am cold. Her grandchildren are cold, and the lab… the lab is cold too. Tell her for me Father that we are ready for Spring. May it come quickly.
You speak of her beauty, and mine, but what good has it done us? We are both ravaged by the world around us in one form or another. The same fate awaits every daughter who is to come after me. Now it threatens our sons as well. Why not hideaway? You taught me to be wise. Wisdom is not flaunting. Allow me this and do not criticize. I know no other way.
And friends? I find myself a stranger in these lands. My ways are not their ways Father. My thoughts are not their thoughts. If you wanted me to have friends then why didn’t you make me like them? At least then we would have more to discuss over our morning tea.
Oh well, it is what it is as they say. And do not worry about finding me a husband. It is written that man should not be alone. You didn’t say anything about woman.
Until next time keep up the good fight.